


The Opened Book

by Nachtkind



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Hurt Klaus Hargreeves, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Implied/Referenced Torture, Klaus Hargreeves Needs A Hug, Klaus Hargreeves-centric, Klaus memory reveal, Luther Hargreeves Needs A Hug, Memories, Sober Klaus Hargreeves, post s02 - but their still living in the Academy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-29
Updated: 2020-12-07
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:33:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,888
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27783781
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nachtkind/pseuds/Nachtkind
Summary: After Five and Vanya rescue the other Academy members from a kidnapping, the siblings talk about what happened.
Comments: 7
Kudos: 211





	1. Rescue

"Well that was a mindfuck!" Klaus whoops, bouncing energetically into the middle of the back seat of Vanya's wagon. Diego and Allison climb in wearily on either side - movements slow, barely able to muster up the energy to slam the door closed behind them. Vanya watches from the driver seat - face tensed and pinched, hand clutched to the wheel - ready to leave as soon everyone is in the car, safe again. The back of the wagon sags as Luther climbs in. Five slams the rear hatch shut then jumps into the front seat in a flash of blue light.

"Vanny, Short stack - so so grateful that you came to save our asses - I mean, really, that was just great and I wouldn't change it for the world - but I gotta say, you really missed out on a hell of a great time guys." Klaus is leaning forward in his eagerness - hands gripped to the seats in front of him - holding him steady as the car pulls off, shaking and rocking on the gravel road. He sounds like he is having the time of his life and not crammed between his siblings in a get-away van, all of them disheveled and sporting bruises and cuts, emotionally and physically drained. The mood in the car is grim - but Klaus plows on, oblivious. "I mean, there is nothing more invigorating that a stroll down memory lane, revisiting all of your worst memories over and over again - amiright?" 

And it had been all of them, not just the heavy hitters that woke him screaming in the night or the triggering events that left him disoriented and panicked at a sudden sound or cramped dark space. There were other memories, things Klaus barely remembered and almost never thought of - but there they were, dragged up again and left exposed and raw all over again. There was the first ghost - the one in his nursery. The mausoleum, several of those memories actually - the first trip, the last trip, the one after Ben died when Reginald had been so angry and left him there so long he gave up all hope of ever getting out. The day Ben died. The day Ben possessed him (even more claustrophobic than the mausoleum even, being trapped in his own mind, unable to move, unable to scream). The day Ben had left him seven years ago - after Klaus had crossed one too many lines and said too many awful things to Ben - he was sure that he would never see him again (that he was alone, alone with the mess he made and the reason why Ben had fought with him in the first place.) There were so many nights on the streets - the cold, the hunger, the desperation mixed with that fatalistic longing for the end, for it all to be over. There were the ODs, not the accidental ones - but the ones where he knew what he was doing - where he just reached his limit and wanted out (but they never seemed to take - he always seemed to come back). And then, the one night - the one with the razor blade, where he slit his own wrists and watched himself bleed out - only to wake up later, still covered in blood, his blood, but alive - beyond all reason (and that one scared him, scared him with a deep, animalistic fear that rocked him so deeply that he never tried again, never wanted to test it and find out for real if it was true - if he couldn't die - because that would be too much, that would be more than he could bear). There was the night spent with Hazel and Cha-cha. And the war, that ten months in hell called Vietnam- the death of his squad mates; the village women - clutching their babies to their breast, wailing in sorrow and pain; bombs and guns and smoke and fear. Of course, losing Dave - that one always there, always in his mind, but experienced again, fresh and real, watching him die all over again – losing the one thing that had made it all worth it again, that had given him back a will to life he didn’t ever expect to have again. And throughout all of these, there were those moments of rejection from those very same people he now shared the car with - the causal dismissals, the disbelief about Ben, the unspoken subtext that he was a burden, that he had no value.

"Really, think we can do it again sometime guys – I think I’m free next Saturday.” Klaus is smiling and he wraps his arms around Diego and Allison to give them a quick squeeze.

"Klaus" Luther mutters weakly from the back.

Five is twisted in the front seat, watching. His face is tense and ready, emotions held tightly in check, senses on full alert. There were still things he hadn't figured out yet - he is still gathering evidence.

Vanya's eye flick back between the road ahead and the rearview mirror, watching the faces of her siblings. Concern written in the line of her brow, her stiff back, and white knuckles. It had been one of the worst days of her life, after she had received the call that her family had been taken. She was made to listen to their cries and given a list of ultimatums to keep them alive. Thank God she had Five there to help. If her family’s lives had depended on her alone there is no way they would all be here now - safe and collected, headed back to the Academy. They still weren't sure who organized the attack, but they had rescued Klaus, Diego, Allison, and Luther, taken out everyone at this facility, and bought some time.

Klaus pauses as he waits for someone to respond - but when no one does he keeps going. Calmer now, as if he finally notices the mood in the car. His voice is soft and sympathetic, but the rapid shift in tone comes across hollow. "I mean, if anyone needs to talk about it - I'm all ears. It must have been rough I know."

"Klaus," Allison murmurs softly, distressed.

"Ally, losing Claire over and over again - I can't even imagine."

"Klaus," Diego sounds gruff and angry, but his voice is still soft.

"And Luther - back on the moon again, the loneliness must have been unbearable."

"Klaus, w-we didn't relive our worst memories. " Diego gets out - cutting Klaus off before he can say more.

Klaus tenses and seems to draw in on himself, chest caving in as his shoulders fall down and forward. He crosses his arms and his voice is high and tight. "Ah, well, lucky me - guess I got the short straw again. Hope I didn't make too much a fool of myself muttering and sniveling in the corner."

"Klaus," Allison pauses until she is sure Klaus won't interrupt, "we didn't relive our worst memories, we were all in your memories. It's like... it's like we were you; seeing what you saw, feeling what you felt."

"Ha!" Klaus squeaks out. Eyes rolling to the ceiling where he can sure he won't have to meet the eyes of anyone. "There is always a way for things to get worse isn't there. The old one two sucker punch for Klaus. I hope your laughing up there you little bitch."

There is a tense silence in the car as everyone waits for Klaus to say more. But he doesn't. He just sits - body slumped, arms pulled tight around his chest, eyes fixed on the roof - clearly intending to wait this out until the ride is over and he can get out of the car.

Luther breaks the silence first. "Klaus, were those... were those all really memories?" he asks, voice a little uncertain.

"Jesus Luther" Diego mutters.

"I mean," Luther continues "I never knew what it was like, back.. back then, for you - but I guess, I mean, I know that was all.. real.. - but how, was that, was that a war? How were you in a war?"

"Luther, don't be an idiot" Five cuts in. "It's obvious and has been since he disappeared and came back before the apocalypse. The dog tags, the obvious signs of PTSD, not to mention the God damn tattoo from the 173rd Brigade on his arm. The Vietnam War you imbecile. How did you not know that? We were attacked by time traveling assassins and your brother comes home the next day, tanner, stronger, and sporting new tattoos - what do you think happened?"

"Vietnam?" Vanya murmurs softly, her brow creasing a little more deeply.

"Can we just - can we just not talk about this? " Klaus says.

"No, we need to talk about this." Diego's voice is rough.

"Why, why do we need to do that?" Klaus throws his hands in the air. "Why can't we just act as if this never happened? Can we please, please, pleeease just ignore the whole thing. I'll pretend like almost everyone important to me in the world wasn’t just handed a crib sheet to my worst vulnerabilities - and you can just try to forget what you saw."

"Klaus – you don’t need to be afraid that anyone in this car is going to use these things against you,” Vanya says, to which Klaus rolls his eyes. “And it doesn't work that way – you can’t just ignore stuff that happens. You have to talk about things. You have to share so we can help you."

"First off - “Klaus says, “I didn't ask for your help. All these things everyone saw, these aren't things I can't handle, or I need help with. I am handling just fine on my own, thank you very much. I've been sober over four years now. I may not be doing great, but I'm doing it, and the last thing I need is a dive into my fucked up past because that is the fastest way to blow this sobriety out of the water. Believe me, I know. You want to help - leave me the fuck alone. I’ve already had a bad enough day, thank you very much."

"He's right you know." Five interjected into the pained silence that followed.

"Of course you would say that Five. If anyone in this car could understand stuffing away traumatic experience and pushing away those who want to help it would be you." Allison is also heated. "But you weren't there and you didn't see what we saw. We're Klaus' family too and we also know what he needs." Her voice softens, "Klaus, you tried to kill yourself."

Klaus throws his arms in the air. "Jesus christ, that was fifteen years ago. Yeah, maybe I could have used some help then – like, a lot of help actually. But where were you fifteen years ago? Oh, that's right – none of you were there. It was just Ben and I. And guess what, we survived and moved on. I gave up on dying ages ago – case closed, ancient history – leave it alone."

"Well to be fair, it seemed like you didn't really have any choice but to keep living. I mean, you tried to kill yourself but just came back." Luther says as if he is making a point that is relevant in any way. "What was up with that anyway? How did you survive that?"

"I..." Klaus looks momentarily guilty and seems to shrink back into himself before remembering his earlier statements. "I'm not talking to you about any of this now," he snaps. "We can talk another time. I don’t really know much more than you do now anyway."

Five looks suspiciously at Klaus but doesn’t say anything.

"OK Klaus, if you don't want to talk - we won't force you. But I think you're wrong and I think you are making another mistake." Diego says, turning his body and settling his gaze out the window.

There is a brief silence. Allison breaks it, "But Klaus... I am sorry. I didn't understand what it was like. What you were going through." She reaches out to gently place her hand on Klaus' knee. "I wasn't there before, but I want to be there now."

There were murmurs of agreement from everyone but Five.

"Guys, it's sweet. Thank you - but really, please, can we not talk about this anymore?" Klaus doesn't sound angry, just tired. "Five, how did you find us? Who were those people?"

"I'm not sure yet. They're professional. This was a very organized setup. They waited until they could pick off the four of you without Vanya and I being there. It was a concerted attack - across three different locations at just the right time. They obviously know a lot about us and knew where we were vulnerable."

"But why the four of us?" Luther asks. "Why not you and Vanya?"

"Because, frankly, Vanya and I are the hardest to contain. Once you and Diego are immobilized, your powers are effectively neutralized. Allison is even easier – incapacitate her voice and you take her out as a threat. Honestly, they should have been more worried about Klaus and that was their undoing, but they probably don't understand his powers. Their plan was to use the four of you to position Vanya and I into vulnerability. It was a good plan, but they didn’t count on our resourcefulness. I found the clue left at the store where Klaus and Allison were snatched – and from there it was just a race against time to find you. I still have questions. They must have either some mind control technology or some other person with powers on their team - they were not only able to pull Klaus' memories, but also force everyone to relive them. Whoever they are, they're dangerous and I don't think we've seen the last of them."

"Yeah, that makes sense..." Luther says slowly, "but.. so, we decided Klaus doesn't have to talk about it. But can we.. I mean, I think I need to talk about it. That was pretty awful stuff. I can't really get it out of my head if you know what I mean. How are we supposed to move on?"

Allison opened her mouth to say something, but unable to find the words - sat back.

"Yeah bro," Diego murmured. "I know what you mean."

Klaus sighs and turns in his seat - reaching back a little place his fingertips on Luther's forearm. "Guys, I’m really sorry you had to experience all that. Look, just.. don't dwell on it. Ok? It was awful, it is awful - but that's not all there is. You can't pretend like it didn't happen - ok, I know I just asked everyone to pretend like it didn't happen, but come on, no one ever listens to me anyway - so just forget that. If you need to talk about it, let's talk about it. The point is, you have to accept it - but then you just.. move on and, try to focus on something else."

"That's awful advice Klaus," Vanya interjected.

"Yeah, I don't think that's what you are supposed to do," Allison adds.

"Seriously?" Klaus throws his hands up.

"Look, we're a fucked up family. No one here knows how to deal with their shit in a healthy way" Five cuts in, "but the point is we're family. Klaus, we all want to hear what you say - Vanya and Allison didn't mean it that way. Luther, we're all here for you."

"That's right," Diego adds. "No one in this family needs to do it alone."

"Well, I'm totally on board with all this family love fest." Klaus sounds annoyed "but will everyone in the car admit right now that I am in fact the expert on how to deal with my fucked up life since I am in fact dealing with my fucked up life, and doing quite well now thank you. The only one that could maybe, and that's a maybe, claim some piece of that title is Ben, but he's gone now so that makes me the only qualified person to talk here."

"OK Klaus, you're the expert, but you're also the textbook on how not to deal with your problems, right?" Diego is smiling.

"Well, true - Luther, you already know all the ways not to deal with all of those awful memories. You had the cliffnotes downloaded into your brain, handily enough. Hard drugs – fun, but all in all not recommended. As I was saying before," Klaus paused to look at Vanya dramatically, "the best way to deal with it is to find something else to focus on. In Dallas it was my.. spiritual community. Now, it is all of you. When it gets too hard - I just find someone to bother."

"Bro - you can bother me anytime." Diego pulls Klaus in for a one arm hug.

“Oh, you are going to regret that,” Klaus says, smiling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter is going to be later that night. Obviously there is still a lot of unresolved issues to go through.  
> Klaus has a lifetime of experience coping, but his siblings are going to need a little more comfort. Diego, Allison, and Luther can’t sleep after everything they went through so they end up in the kitchen. Five is there, also unable to sleep – and they all talk about the memories Diego, Allison, and Luther experienced.


	2. After hours

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Diego, Luther, Allison, and Five talk later that night.

The sky is already darkening by the time Vanya pulls up into the alley behind the Academy. There is a moment of silence as the engine cuts. The only sound is Klaus, shifting slightly – ready to move, but caught in the middle seat until everyone gathers themselves.

"What's the plan then, are we having a family meeting," Luther doesn't say it like a question - but he is looking at Five.

"It's been a long day. Everyone is obviously exhausted - the family meeting can wait until tomorrow," Vanya says. 

"That should be fine," Five says. "I'm not expecting any further attacks for at least a few weeks. They weren't expecting Vanya and I today - which tells me they aren’t contingency planning. They're good, but not that good. Get some rest, we could all use the downtime."

"So it's settled, food - then bed," Diego says, opening the car door and stepping out.

"Bath and bed for me - don't wait up," Klaus says as he ducks out the car and passes Diego on the way to the door. 

"Don't use all the hot water Klaus - I have never wished for a shower more in my life and I may have to kill you if you do," Allison warns.

"No promises Ally, all's fair in love and bath time," Klaus calls as he slips into the building. 

Everyone follows more slowly; even on a good day it is hard to match Klaus’ natural energy – and today is anything but a good day. Vanya heats some leftover soup on the stove, but half of the family has already slipped upstairs before she sets it out. She is the only one left by the time she has cleaned up the kitchen and gone up to sleep in the guest room she has claimed as her own.

*****

Several hours later, Luther walks through the darkened house towards the soft glow of the kitchen. The kitchen light is always left on at the Academy, a tradition that developed back in the sibling’s teenage years. On any given night, it is not unusual to find someone lingering in the space - unable or unwilling to sleep - drawn to the warmth of the light and the distraction of a late night snack.

Luther comes in to find Diego using a kitchen towel to gather up the shattered pieces of a glass from the back counter.

“Did you break that?” Luther asks.

“Give it a rest, I’m not in the mood,” Diego cuts back gruffly.

“No, I didn’t mean it like that. Look – I understand. I bet it felt great, I could break something myself right now,” Luther responds.

“Who’s breaking what?” Allison asks, stepping in from the darkened room behind Luther. “Don’t leave a mess for mom to clean up.”

Luther turns, “You can’t sleep either, huh?”

Allison’s face falls. “No, too much on my mind. Every time I close my eyes, I just keep thinking back to those awful memories. I can’t believe how much I missed growing up. How did I not know any of these things Klaus was going through? I mean, we lived in the same house for half of our lives and it’s like we were living different lives.”

“It’s not that surprising – you always were more focused on yourself than anyone else around you,” Diego throws back.

“Hey, back off! That’s not necessary – Allison isn’t any more to blame than anyone else in this family.” Luther steps forward to come between Allison and Diego.

Diego visibly settles himself. “You’re right. I’m sorry Allison. That was uncalled for. No one in this family knows how to take care of anyone else. A lot of these things, I knew about them – I just didn’t understand or really think about what they meant. I told myself I was trying to be a good brother, but actually I failed so badly.”

There is a blue flash to Diego’s side where Five appears by the coffee machine, just in time to catch the last part of Diego’s speech.

“That’s because you did fail him,” Five says frankly.

“What do you know Five, you weren’t even here,” Allison answers.

“That’s true – I guess in that respect I also failed him, as I failed all of you.” Five says as he starts the coffee pot. He turns to face the other three siblings, “But I’m glad you’re all here. I have some questions about what happened in Klaus’ past that you should be able to help me with.”

“Don’t you think you should ask Klaus those question?” says Luther.

Allison and Diego agree.

“It’s a lot easier to get these answers from you. You heard Klaus – he doesn’t want to talk about anything in the past. Believe me, I’ve already tried that route. Don’t worry, you won’t be spilling any secrets. I’ve already pieced together more in the last year than all of you combined could figure out in the 17 years you spent with Klaus. All I need is information important to my mission of keeping you blockheads safe. It’s for his and your own good.” Five reaches up to grab a coffee cup then settles in by the machine to wait for it to be ready.

“Ok, that makes sense I guess, but we aren’t sharing anything he wouldn’t want to share” Luther says slowly.

“No it doesn’t, Five if you want answers go to Klaus, I’m not going to tell you anything you can’t get him to tell you.” Diego is gruff.

“Here’s the thing Diego.” Five draws it out, punctuation each word. “I have to take care of this family, because no one else here is capable of taking care of each other without me. I was gone for seventeen years and look what happens. Luther ends up on the moon. Klaus is a homeless junkie. Ben is dead. Nobody in this family knew or cared what anyone else was doing – you could hardly call you guys a family. Now I don’t have the time or patience to keep you morons from making idiotic decisions over and over again, but I can keep you all safe.” Fives’ gaze is intense as he moves from sibling to sibling. “In the car you talked about Klaus trying to kill himself but not dying. What did that mean – is this some part of Klaus’ ability? Did he actually die, or was he just able to prevent his death somehow? How many times has this happened?”

There is a brief silence.

“I... don’t really know.” Allison says. Diego glares at her, but she raises her eyebrows as if to shrug and continues on. “It’s not really clear – it was really just glimpses. At the time, there was no confusion – it was like being there and experiencing it – you just, you knew what was happening. But now – afterwards, so much doesn’t make sense or is missing. We just saw fragments of his past – and I think it was all of the worst parts. But, that night when he tried to cut his wrists – he definitely died. It wasn’t just a close call - and, he didn’t expect to come back. The... loss.. and the confusion when he woke up after – it was very real.” She stares at the ground for a minute before continuing on. “I don’t think it was the first time he died though. I’m pretty sure that he died in some of the overdoses before – although it’s hard to say because those memories get really confusing once the drugs kick in – but with how much he took – there is no way he would have survived that many times.”

“I don’t think those were the first times he died either.” Luther’s voice is low and tight when he jumps in.

“Really?” Allison asks.

“I think the first time was that day in the mausoleum, right after Ben died.”

“You think he died that day?” Diego asks.

“Think about it.” Luther says. “I mean, about the state he was in when he went in there – how long he was there for. I don’t think he just blacked out. I think... he died.”

No one says anything for a moment.

“Dad was still putting him in there, even five years after I left.” Five says it like a statement and not a question.

Diego frowns, “Did you know about the mausoleum, even back then?”

“Of course I did,” Five says. “This is what I mean about no one in this family caring. Klaus would disappear for hours or days. Did you never check to see where he was going? I know what everyone did for their special training.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Allison asks.

“Why didn’t any of us talk about anything back then? We were just kids,” Five says. “And we all were dealing with life in the Academy in any way we could. But that didn’t mean I wasn’t watching what was happening to each of us or that I trusted Reginald enough not to keep tabs on what he was doing.”

“I knew back then.” Luther interjects softly. “I knew where dad was putting Klaus. But I didn’t know it was like that. I thought it would be dark and cold and he was probably uncomfortable – but no more than any of us were during our special training. I didn’t,” Luther’s voice breaks, “know he was suffering like that. About the ghosts.”

There is an introspective silence interrupted by Five. “There still is something we’re missing here. I know I found Klaus’ body after the Apocalypse. He was definitely dead.”

Another silence, this time Allison breaks it. “From what you said, the first time it was Vanya that killed us at the Academy. She came with Leonard and we fought here. Maybe, it’s because of Vanya’s powers. Maybe if she kills him it nullifies his powers somehow. Look what happened with Ben. Klaus hasn’t been able to summon him ever since that day in Dallas.”

“That’s... surprisingly a good thought,” Five says grudgingly. “I’ll have to think about this further. Now, who is Dave?”

Diego, Luther, and Allision glance between each other, uncertain what to say.

“Dave was someone from the war,” Luther turns to Five. “He was shot, and Klaus was there. I don’t know who he was really. He meant a lot to Klaus though. A whole lot. He died, in the war.

“I think he was his boyfriend,” Allison puts in.

“You think?” Five asks.

“All the memories we saw were awful,” Allison explains, “When Dave died, Klaus lost someone important. But.. it makes sense that most of the memories of Dave are good ones. So, we didn't see any of those. ”

“If you want to know about Dave, you should ask Klaus,” Diego cuts in. “In fact, I think we’ve said enough.”

“Avoidance is Klaus’ specialty. I’ve tried to get him to talk to me, but it is a special form of torture trying to get a straight answer from that man. I’m convinced he believes that if you ignore your problems they just go away.” Five sounds extremely frustrated. “But I think I have what I need. Thank you. I would recommend that everyone here does talk to Klaus about what happened today. But, knowing this family, I don’t expect anyone will follow my advice.”

“Seems a bit hypocritical doesn’t it Five?” Diego asks.

“Unlike you morons, I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself. I won’t let my issues become a risk to this family. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have some work to do tracking down the organization that attacked us.” Five grabs his coffee cup.

“Hold on,” Diego says – but Five has already blinked away.

“Ok..” Allison says.

There is a pause then Luther speaks up. “He has a point you know. About us talking more. I mean, he is totally wrong about his own issues, but if we talked more as a family, we wouldn’t have been so quick to write Klaus off for all these years. Maybe, we could have helped him more. We shouldn’t have to rely on some super villain to download each’s other problems into our brains.”

There are murmurs of agreement from Diego and Allison, but noone says anything further.

“So Diego...” Luther finally says, “about Detective Patch.”

“Uh-uh. Not happening bro.” Diego responds. “I’m going to bed.” Diego walks off.

“Baby steps,” Allison says, clapping Luther on the shoulder as she too walks out of the kitchen.

“Baby steps.” Luther echoes to himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't originally planning two chapters, but after I wrote the first it seemed like I needed two. Now I've written that one and it seems like it needs three. We'll see - I have some fun ideas, but time is also short right now.
> 
> BTW, I don't really think Vanya's powers are why Ben went to the light (not directly anyway) - but Allison and Five don't know that ;-)


End file.
